Denial

27“You will all fall away,”Jesus told them, “for it is written:

“ ‘I will strike the shepherd,

and the sheep will be scattered.’

28 But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you into Galilee.”

29Peter declared, “Even if all fall away, I will not.”

30“Truly I tell you,”Jesus answered, “today—yes, tonight—before the rooster crows twiceyou yourself will disown me three times.”

31But Peter insisted emphatically, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” And all the others said the same.

A quick post for today but I didn't want to miss this day. Today we walk through Jesus' prediction that before the rooster crows, Peter, one of his beloved, best friends, would deny him 3 times. As we know, even though Peter denied that he would ever disown his leader, he did. All 3 times. The text says that upon Peter's 3rd denial, the Lord turned to look at him. If you remember the scene from Passion of the Christ, it is just a gut hollowing scene. The look Jesus gave Peter wasn't scorn, or anger, or resent... it was a perfectly, loving, but sad look. From there, Peter grieved what he had done. In Jesus' great love for Peter, he didn't condemn him to Hell. He didn't punish him or make a scene of his disobedience. After His death, he returned to Peter and commissioned him to love His people. Peter spent the rest of his life doing great work for the kingdom of God. 

Man. I can relate to Peter. I don't wish hard times, or bad decisions, or innocent misfalls upon anyone..... but then again, I do. Sometimes I feel like we can't fully comprehend the depths of how much God loves us until we see how far he comes into the pit of our own destruction to rescue us, to redeem us. In my life, I've been..... well, an idiot. I remember the day that I 'met the gaze of Christ', if you will, and was completely awash with His mercy. It was the first time I had ever accepted it and understood that I didn't have to live under this blanket of guilt and condemnation anymore. I, like Peter, grieved, because I couldn't understand how God could love someone like me. Wretched, awful me. But over the years, I feel like God has commissioned me to encourage, tell my story, talk about Jesus, open my doors, my arms, my heart to those around me. HE STILL LOVES US IN SPITE OF OUR IDIOCY AND HAS AMAZING THINGS PLANNED FOR US. 

We've all messed up, we've all flat out denied God, we've all made poor choices, but our stories honestly make us relatable... they make us walking miracles and proof God's infinite love and grace. I pray He turns His eyes on all of us today and we are fully broken by the depths of His love. And when we wipe our eyes, we can say, 'Jesus, I'll never get over you.' Then in return, let's be commissioned also. Let's go love on His people. 

March

A little lighthearted interjection into my Holy Week blogs! Sorry for missing yesterday. I started my day on the wrong foot and by 9 am had already ripped into two different people for dropping the ball on some things. My heart was not in the right place to turn around and speak of God's mercy after I had just showed NONE. I'm still trying to work the stress out of my shoulders, but am planning on posting today, as today's events resonate so deeply with me. I know the grandparents are much more interested in seeing pictures of all of their grandkids anyway, since this blog is about our daily life, not my walk in faith! Even though often times I blur that line....

A little here and there from this great month! We haven't been sick at all so this month has seemed FABULOUS compared to February!! 

A few quick stories. I had these written down but have lost my post it note!! Life is so hard sometimes!!! Why can't I keep up with anything?!?! I've turned my office upside down this morning looking for that blasted post it! :)

Barry told me that a few weeks ago, Caden noticed that he had a hole in his under-roo's. He called his momma in and said 'Momma, look! Now I don't have to pull down my pants anymore!' Ha! Exactly right, son! I love boys!!! 

London is starting to learn/use lots of new words. Surprising really. She told me yesterday that two of the characters in her movie were arguing with each other. She was exactly right! I thought that was an impressive word for a 3 year old. However, some words and emotions are still trying to find their right place.... Over the weekend we were rough housing and she got SO EXCITED!! All the excitement overcame her and she screamed, 'I MAKE ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE!!!!!' ......

okay..... :)

She's doing much better with this now, but a few weeks ago, they were learning about the days of the week at school. She was practicing with them a lot but would say sentences like, 

'I don't know, mom. Sometimes I just Wednesday and everything.' 

Then she would turn around and go about her business! 

I wish you could be a fly on the wall and listen to London talk. This kid is hilarious! She says some of the funniest little things! I love this age! So funny to watch them put into practice ALL of this info that they are learning! When it doesn't all add up, it totally owns me! 

Things I adore about her:

- When she sings the Hokey Pokey, she says... 

'Put your right foot in, put your right foot out.... that's what is call about!' 

Which is SO HARD to sing, if you try it! 

-Every single morning, she sings on the way to school. It will start with Jesus Loves Me or a legitimate song, but it morphs into her singing about whatever words pop into her head from there. It's really just subconscious talking put to song and it's so GREAT! 

"Jesus loves the froggy sleeping in the trees.. where is he? I don't see you! LOOK OUT ITS A BEAR!!!! for my mommy tells me so.... Knooooooooooooox gets a gold medal cause he runs really really really fast! Goooooooooooo Knox!.....' etc, etc, etc. 

Friday afternoon ice cream and dancing with my chicken nugget!

Texts from my best friend.... this is obviously why she's my best friend!

London got in trouble last weekend. I don't remember for what now, but she got grounded from the tv all day. I was cleaning up the house but I closed our driveway gate, opened the back door, and told her I didn't care if she played inside or out, but that there was no TV. Child was outside ALL DAY LONG. Praise the Lord! I peeked out once and found her in full princess garb, coloring away in the carport. A little while later, she had a stick and was beating the stew out of our muscadine vine. Picked flowers, 'planted beautiful plants', rode bikes, all of it. That's one of the things I miss about living in the country- you miss so much outdoors time. I was thrilled to have my baby in the sunshine and fresh air all day long. Ended up being a great day. TV is the worst! 

And looky here!!! We've implemented a rewards and consequences system at home and it has made for ONE HAPPY CHILD. Before our weekly swim lesson, I told her that if there were no tears and if she did everything that Coach Cody asked of her, she could go home and put a marble in her rewards jar. She was ON BOARD with that idea. I wish you could've seen it. She got in the water and that bottom lip started quivering but she wanted a marble SO BAD so she put on this super fake smile and said 'Look mommy, i not crying!' Her eyes were all watery and everything but she just kept on smiling like a champ. Of course, a can-do attitude turned into swimming lessons being the most fun thing EVER!!! She had a total blast and did awesome!! This week was great for half of it but she got really choked once, got scared, and regressed a bit, but that's okay. Choking is scary but were learning how to be safe when that happens! 

Also, Coach Cody has 'O hair' (curly hair) and London really wants to have 'O hair like coach cody!' :)

Coach Cody is a genius. He brought London a Barbie, let her play with it in the water, then set it on the side of the pool to watch for the rest of the lesson. Genius, i tell you!

most fun ever. 

Your Will Be Done

Tuesday: Matthew 26:

36Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.”37He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”

39Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”....

42He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”

43When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. 44So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.

I am reading a bible reading plan that is covering Holy Week. It's wonderful. Today we are studying the above text. Of all of Jesus' 33 years of life, this is the Jesus I can relate to the most. He seems the most like me. The one who looks at the future ahead and weeps, wishes for change or another option. The one who, if only for a night, wrestles with God's plan. Wishes that it could be another way. In a much more sin filled body, that's me. The one who wrestles over and over and over with God.... 'Hey God, just take a look at this easier option... this one might be better.' But in my heart, I struggle to lay myself low and say 'your will be done.' Such hard words to truly say. Can you even imagine Jesus' heart when he said these words? When he knew 'your will be done' meant his DEATH? When he stood at last... resolute, prepared for what was to come, with full confidence in his Father, with each step, reminding himself, 'Your will be done.' 

This study reminds of us of the most important piece to this evening. The reality of losing his life wasn't the only reason Jesus was sorrowful. The fact that post death, Jesus would be separated from the presence of God... this is why He wept. I don't have any comparison for what it must have felt like for there to be separation between the Holy Trinity. The creator all all things was divided for a time. It spins my brain and overwhelms me because I know I will never experience anything that might equal that void. As a mother, I can only create a scene of separation from my daughter... a scene I can't even type because I don't EVER want to know that feeling... THAT time's infinity. That's the only way I can truly embrace how this must have felt and how I would have wanted to do ANYTHING to avoid the playing out of these events.  
This is where I come in.  Jesus was brutally beaten. Crucified. Son ripped from the safety of Father. Plunged into the depths of hell for 3 days. Facing unimaginable horror. Why? Because I can not live as righteous without Him. Because I choose sinful choices, and follow my own way, and live in impurity. Ugh. The thought is utterly nauseating. 

However, there is hope coming. This is not the end...... only the beginning. When Jesus is laid in the tomb, so am I. PRAISE GOD. SO AM I. This sinful body that can not even for a second survive without God's grace, I am buried too. And there I lay, my sin buried and paid for. All shame left- wrapped and forever forgotten. It's just too much....

And then, Sunday morning, when sweet Jesus blinks His eyes open, and His Father grabs Him in the embrace of a lost Son returned home.... oh the urgency that God must have felt! Among angel choirs of the King reigning rightfully on His throne once more, Jesus returns and leaves us His Spirit.  His Spirit that he promises will never leave or forsake us. Jesus HIMSELF with us always. As a reminder that he buries our sin daily and gives us grace to lift our head, put one foot in front of the other, and ARISE. 

So, in the nights when I wrestle with God. And beg Him to choose another way, I will be reminded of the night Jesus prayed the same. But just as that night, GOD IS ALWAYS FAITHFUL. No matter where I turn, or what the path ahead looks like, God is constantly singing his reassurances to me... his tenderness, his faithfulness, his promises, his GLORY. What is this life, but the blinking of an eye, so as we endure, as we face hard days, hard months, hard seasons of life, we can lean in and listen to God's reminder that HE WILL NEVER LEAVE US and that one day soon, he will sweep in and rescue us too. So may we gladly open our hands in sweet submission, and say with a pure heart, 'Your will be done.'

And if you should want to read the most beautiful words about the reunion of Father and Son on that beautiful resurrection day, read this post from last year, 'He's Already Up' by Beth Moore. Simply beautiful. 

Happy Holy Week. I adore you. 

Thought for your Monday...

Barry emailed me this excerpt from a C.S. Lewis book last week. I love it.

“It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations…. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations—these are mortal, and there life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, exploit—immortal horrors or ever-lasting splendors.” 

My plea to God in prayer last night was that he would align my heart in a mighty way to the magnitude of what this Easter week means. We celebrate with such joy the bright colors and dyed eggs and family round the table, and rightly so, but this week we remember one of the most historic events of all time. (Tied equally only with His providential birth.)

Over the next few days, we relive the story of the proclaimed Son of God who is brought into the city with adoration and praise and walked out of the city carrying the method of his own death on his back. The same crowd who cheered him as King cries a new cry.... Crucify Him. 

Last year, I felt the weight of this weeks events so heavily. By Easter Sunday, I was speechless over the way I was right flipped upside down over my Jesus. My Savior. This week, I hope to prepare my heart. To open my hands wide, surrender all that I am, and let the Holy Spirit walk me vividly, fearfully, brokenly, and joyfully through these last day of my King's life on earth. I'll try to walk the week with you, if you don't mind. Sharing what I'm learning. Preparing our hearts together. Moving into Sunday where we can all proclaim with hot tears of gratitude in our eyes, 'HE IS RISEN!' 

Today, as the bible tells it, Jesus has arrived in Jerusalem by way of a donkey. Led into the city by a crowd of His followers crying 'Hosanna' (translated 'save us') and laying cloaks and palm leaves on the ground before his foal. Today he visits the temple, sees the way they disgrace the house of God, and he turns over the selling tables, casting out those who would profane His house. Then, as always, Jesus turned the hand of hospitality to the outcasts. To the lame, the blind, the children. He healed them. He opened up the floodgates of His love for those that we would turn a blind eye to.

My goal for today is to look through the lens of Jesus' vision. Who needs care, love, affection, salvation? The people we meet today, as CS Lewis says, are immortals. 'Immortal horrors or ever-lasting splendors.' May we go out today and reach out with Jesus' hands. Let's collect a nation of people today to live for all eternity in ever-lasting splendor. Let's not turn a blind eye to anyone, lest they not find the way and live in eternal horror.  I have a brain, body, and soul full of the message of Christ's goodness. Let me turn the hand of hospitality to everyone and offer them LIFE. 

Beautiful Lizzy

Tootie Beth went to a friends birthday party last weekend and the birthday girl's momma sent Lauren these beautiful pictures or our sweet Lizzy. So very darling! 

Throw Back Thursday

There's this movement on Instagram (a picture/social networking site) called Throw Back Thursday. The idea is simply that you post an old picture and call it a 'throw back thursday' post. Pretty lame in my opinion, however, when I started looking back through old pics, I had to copy some for the good ole family blog! Oh how I loved these days and these people!!! What an amazing life I have! So, as an ode to the good ole days.....

Charley being ADORABLE. Good gravy!!

 And this toothless booger!! LOVE IT!!!

 She's always been gorgeous....

 Full diapers, sprinklers, Booper's house, and twin kisses. I can't contain the joy!

 I teared up over this one. Tootie Beth brushing Papa's bald head!

 A classic....

 Two peas in a pod!

 One of the greatest blessings in my life... I love her so much!

 July 4th, 2 years old. They were terrified of the fire works. Look at sweet Toots face! Poor cute little thing!

I love these memories so much!

VIDEOS!!!!

Videos!!! Who's excited?!?! I am! I am! I could not be more proud of this first set of videos. Beginning in January, our small group started linking up with Beth Moore's bible verse memorization challenge. I have a set of index cards that I write my memory verses down on, then they sit on my speedometer so that I can see them all the time. After the first week, I started practicing them with London and lo and behold, the kid can memorize like a champ! I am so proud of her for hiding God's word in her heart!

Plus, these verses have ministered to me so much over the past few months. I've purposely been seeking out verses that remind me to wait patiently for God, or find my rest in Him, or reminders of God's continual goodness and faithfulness.  These words wash over me in such a healing way, and hearing them from the mouth of this babe just right un-does me.

{If you're reading this post via email, the videos won't show. You'll need to click the title in your email to get re-directed to the actual blog.}

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty." Psalm 91:1

"Oh God, you are my God. Earnestly I seek you. My soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary. Beheld your power and your glory! Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you! I will praise you all of my life and in your name I will lift up my hands. " Psalm 63:1-4

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. Rescue me from my enemies, O god, for I hide myself in you. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your good spirit lead me on level ground." Psalm 143:8-10

And a smash up/made up memory verse that combines some of the things we've learned, a few random words, and an I LOVE YOU MOM, GOOD NIGHT!

"Jesus loves me... cha cha cha!" Our first day of feeling totally back to normal and not having the stomach virus. She was HIGH ENERGY after 6 days of laying in bed! She spent the entire 2 hr drive going 90 to nothing! 

And one of my all time favorites: Rise and Shine...children of the WEERWRLD. I love this kid so stinkin' much.  

School Pics

Cleaning up my work computer and found this old picture that I meant to post on here back in October! Here was London's school picture this year. Cute, right? Expensive? GOSH YES. Therefore, you all are getting the super nice digital screenshot view that is watermarked with PROOF all over it.

Yes. I count you that valuable.

Enjoy.

A Birthday and Some Sick Days

A little sick time/birthday documentation. Im not sure how, but London can even make awfully sick look adorable...

I could watch this view for every waking moment for the the rest of my life. I am blessed beyond anything I deserve. 

Playing stick drums at mom's running half way point! Momma needed a breather!

Some times glad, some times mad that Archie was here with us! Mostly glad, until London had anything to eat, then we panicked that Archie would eat it! I love this sweet pup! He likes to be all up into everything but he is a funny, cuddly little dude!

Birthday morning. Looking adorable but we had had a rough few hours at this point :( Poor poor child. 

Her sweet companion resting his head by her during breakfast

My life: My house needs a good bit of home improvement work but Im too poor to pay anyone to come do it for me. Therefore, I psych myself out and convince myself that 'this is no big deal, I can totally do this.' In which I am correct, but it usually ends up being a very big deal! I finally had had it up to here with my ghetto, unfinished hardwood floors, so I decided to finish them myself. Wowzers. Refinishing hardwoods is not for the faint of heart. And I've learned a lot from it so if you need any pointers, I've got you covered. Im doing it one room at a time and am almost finished with room 1, so I'll post some finished product pictures soon! Im actually thrilled with how they are turning out, but this is after much blood, sweat, saw dust, and 'I GIVE UP' declarations! 

London started swimming lessons last week. She loves to swim and has been excited for months that we were going to take lessons! However, much to my surprise, lesson one did NOT go well. She was happy as a lark but when her coach reached up and grabbed her, she started screaming like an banshee. To which I had to leave because they couldn't get her to calm down. Her coach said this reaction is totally normal and most kids will do it through every lesson, but if mom leaves, they have an easier time getting them calmed down and actually swimming. So far we've spent 2 lessons with me outside of the bubble (swim pool) crouched in a ball trying to stay warm until lessons are over! :) She has left both lessons very mad at coach Cody but by Wednesday morning, she is all on board with learning how to swim again! Im shocked that she is not enjoying it because she LOVES to swim, but I know lessons are good for her so were sticking with it! Also, awesome Coach Cody is tall and super skinny. Every time London sees a banana, she says, "Look Mom, it's Coach Cody!" ha!!

Post screaming swim lesson, but proud as a peacock that she's learning to swim!

It's always a good time to paint our toenails. On our way to Columbus, doing back seat pedicures. 

And get ready! If you visit the good ole family blog from the actual website, things are about to look much different! I'm pulling everything off and trying to post video's again. We're going strictly black and white blank page and seeing if I can get them to show. I have some good ones!

Happy Birthday, Sweet London!

My sweet child turned 3 years old at the end of February. My heavens. Where has the time gone. It honestly just feels like yesterday that I would lay on my bed, watching my huge, pregnant belly kick and roll and push in the most miraculous of ways. It feels like minutes ago that I would marvel, speechless, at God over His design of this child. A short blink of the eye later and I am still marveling at God over the design of this child. 

Funny as all get out, vivacious, engaged, smart as a whip, spirited, affectionate, tender hearted. He did a perfect job of creating her. She is all her own and I love sitting back and watching her forge her own path in this life!

We spent an absolutely perfect weekend celebrating my darling child! The timing was perfect as well, seeing that 12 hours after her celebration was over, she was throwing her little toenails up :(. The whole family packed up and drove to Tuscaloosa to meet my parents for a fun, family dinner on Friday night.

Birthday bread pudding, which was a total WIN! YUMMO!

Then Saturday, Barry's family picked us up and the whole lot of us headed to Chattanooga to go to the Tennessee Aquarium. Earlier this year, a sweet friend and I took London to the Georgia aquarium and she LOVED it! So, when I asked what she wanted to do for her bday, she voted for another aquarium trip! The fresh water section of this aquarium was amazing! However, the salt water section was a let down. The Georgia aquarium salt water tanks are phenomenal. (understatement) but the Tennessee was really just one enormous tank and was rather anti-climatic. None-the-less, we all were still thoroughly amazed at these incredible creatures! 

Oh, back story! A few weeks ago, I blogged about my Dad's great stories. Friday after dinner, Dad asked London if we were going to see any snapping turtles. He then told her that if a snapping turtle bites you, it won't let go. And do you know the only time a snapping turtle will let go? When it THUNDERS. {i can't make this stuff up!} 

So, Saturday morning, what was the FIRST thing out of London's mouth when I woke her up? 'Mommy, are we going to see the napping turtles???' And sure enough, they had a HUGE snapping turtle population, which just thrilled these kids to no end! WELL DONE, DAD! :) 

Also, another side track, on the car ride there, we got Caden dancing (which involved a made up game of him getting points if he danced the best.... which he totally did). This child was SO INTO IT! We had James Brown's 'I've got Ants in My Pants' playing on the radio and boy was cutting loose! So so funny!

Viewing tube in the Piranha tank :/

Shark Cage!

Laying in a viewing booth, looking up into the salt water tank. They had some terrifying looking great white sharks. Yeesh. Nightmares!

This was a small black room with one huge jellyfish wall. It was so beautiful! 

Penguins. They had this tube that you could dip your hands in to see how cold the water is in this tank and it is FRIGID!!! I guess I never thought much about the temperatures, but Holy Smokes it was cold!

Standing in front of the worlds largest turtle shell. Impressive. 

Our first snapping turtle sighting! 

Glasses on to watch the 3D IMAX movie about butterflies. This might have been my favorite part. London wouldn't keep her glasses on but Caden and Lizzy tried to catch the butterflies the whole time! It was so stinking funny watching them jump up and swipe at the air trying to catch them! Props to Barry for this! I hadn't planned on going to the movie but we went during lunch, had a nice rest, and smuggled in lunch so we wouldn't have to take another stop. When it was over we were all full, rested, and ready to go right back at it! Good call!

Fun outside architectural features! 

A very big thanks to all the family for the above pictures. I downloaded a new photo app before we went, took easily 300 pictures which we were in the aquarium, then we loaded up to head back and all pulled out our phones to compare pictures. I didn't have ONE. SINGLE. PHOTO saved. I wasn't using the program right and was deleting them every time I took a new shot. Being the family photographer, I was devastated. While I wallowed in my sorrows though, I looked over and was silenced by this little beauty sitting right beside me. It was the perfect opportunity to redeem myself and I loved the way this one turned out. 

Then, Barry, being the best brother ever, decided to make a gorgeous pit stop at a waterfall in North Alabama. I had my camera charged and ready to go! This was such a lovely place! I'm so glad Barry knew it was here!

Blessed. I love my family so much!

Eat her up!!

We stopped for hibachi dinner on our way back into town to which Caden exclaimed, "Does London get EVERYTHING she wants on her birthday?!?!?!" ha! Bless him! 

Eating sushi and making fish faces. 

Best use of chop sticks I've ever seen. Nose smushers. Perfect. 

Barry's sweet family gave London a tinker bell dress up outfit and a set of high heels. We hadn't been in the door 2 seconds before she was clomping around the house 'pixie dusting' things! They know her so well! 

I also kinda liked London's and my fortunes from our fortune cookies. 

Mine said, 'your sense of humor allows you to glide through these difficult times.' Which reminded me of the importance of just living life and enjoying every minute of it. 

London's said, 'A new pair of shoes will do you a world of good!' That advice should serve her well the rest of her life! :)

Another precious Rhea gift, our new favorite book, The Berenstain Bears at the Aquarium! How cute, right?!?!

Last but not least, after a wretched week of throwing up, London was finally able to enjoy a proper birthday cake! Her appetite wasn't 100% but it was finally well enough to lick the icing off the candles! 

Happy birthday, beautiful girl! I just love everything there is to love about you! I love the way you do the number '3' by holding up your last 3 fingers, I love anytime someone says '3', you scream 'JUST LIKE ME!!!' It's hard to say February and I just adore the way you marble mouth through it. Just adorable! You are a doll and you bless me beyond my wildest dreams!