Your Will Be Done

Tuesday: Matthew 26:

36Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.”37He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”

39Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”....

42He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”

43When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. 44So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.

I am reading a bible reading plan that is covering Holy Week. It's wonderful. Today we are studying the above text. Of all of Jesus' 33 years of life, this is the Jesus I can relate to the most. He seems the most like me. The one who looks at the future ahead and weeps, wishes for change or another option. The one who, if only for a night, wrestles with God's plan. Wishes that it could be another way. In a much more sin filled body, that's me. The one who wrestles over and over and over with God.... 'Hey God, just take a look at this easier option... this one might be better.' But in my heart, I struggle to lay myself low and say 'your will be done.' Such hard words to truly say. Can you even imagine Jesus' heart when he said these words? When he knew 'your will be done' meant his DEATH? When he stood at last... resolute, prepared for what was to come, with full confidence in his Father, with each step, reminding himself, 'Your will be done.' 

This study reminds of us of the most important piece to this evening. The reality of losing his life wasn't the only reason Jesus was sorrowful. The fact that post death, Jesus would be separated from the presence of God... this is why He wept. I don't have any comparison for what it must have felt like for there to be separation between the Holy Trinity. The creator all all things was divided for a time. It spins my brain and overwhelms me because I know I will never experience anything that might equal that void. As a mother, I can only create a scene of separation from my daughter... a scene I can't even type because I don't EVER want to know that feeling... THAT time's infinity. That's the only way I can truly embrace how this must have felt and how I would have wanted to do ANYTHING to avoid the playing out of these events.  
This is where I come in.  Jesus was brutally beaten. Crucified. Son ripped from the safety of Father. Plunged into the depths of hell for 3 days. Facing unimaginable horror. Why? Because I can not live as righteous without Him. Because I choose sinful choices, and follow my own way, and live in impurity. Ugh. The thought is utterly nauseating. 

However, there is hope coming. This is not the end...... only the beginning. When Jesus is laid in the tomb, so am I. PRAISE GOD. SO AM I. This sinful body that can not even for a second survive without God's grace, I am buried too. And there I lay, my sin buried and paid for. All shame left- wrapped and forever forgotten. It's just too much....

And then, Sunday morning, when sweet Jesus blinks His eyes open, and His Father grabs Him in the embrace of a lost Son returned home.... oh the urgency that God must have felt! Among angel choirs of the King reigning rightfully on His throne once more, Jesus returns and leaves us His Spirit.  His Spirit that he promises will never leave or forsake us. Jesus HIMSELF with us always. As a reminder that he buries our sin daily and gives us grace to lift our head, put one foot in front of the other, and ARISE. 

So, in the nights when I wrestle with God. And beg Him to choose another way, I will be reminded of the night Jesus prayed the same. But just as that night, GOD IS ALWAYS FAITHFUL. No matter where I turn, or what the path ahead looks like, God is constantly singing his reassurances to me... his tenderness, his faithfulness, his promises, his GLORY. What is this life, but the blinking of an eye, so as we endure, as we face hard days, hard months, hard seasons of life, we can lean in and listen to God's reminder that HE WILL NEVER LEAVE US and that one day soon, he will sweep in and rescue us too. So may we gladly open our hands in sweet submission, and say with a pure heart, 'Your will be done.'

And if you should want to read the most beautiful words about the reunion of Father and Son on that beautiful resurrection day, read this post from last year, 'He's Already Up' by Beth Moore. Simply beautiful. 

Happy Holy Week. I adore you.